Bear Days

It felt like it was 115 degrees here in Norfolk today.  I mean, the weatherman said it was only going to be 90, but I think he was wrong.  I can tell by my now crunchy hair and puffy salt lips.  I went to the zoo this morning with my model friend Lindsay.  She didn't shed one bead of sweat though-just looked completely perfect the whole time.  I, on the other hand had tiny rivers of perspiration flowing down down down my forehead ricocheting off the tip of my nose....I did NOT look fresh the whole day even though I kept applying Clinique pressed powder and lipstick.  I needed a shower by 9:00 am and we hadn't even gotten out the door yet.  We were still in speech therapy....

I did too much today.  I keep saying yes to people.  I have that problem.  I don't want to disappoint anyone and I don't want to miss out on any fun.  This has been an issue since I was a toddler, but it seems to ebb and flow with age.  I have days like today and then I start saying no to people for a few days so I can feel like a normal person again.

I'm really not here to share about my boundary issues, I'm here to tell you some good news about June!  She had her third neurofeedback session today which went perfectly.  She didn't even pull at the wires on her front right lobe or her left ear.  The other exciting thing is that it is WORKING!  Dr. Fly showed me all the areas that little June needs to work on (and she has many).  We determined that before we could move on to the more important areas, we'd have to get her sleep under control.  I didn't realize she had been so sleep deprived over the last two years of her little life.  She hasn't been able to put herself to sleep since she was an infant and over the last few months, things have gotten worse, to where it would take her sometimes two or more hours to fall asleep on her own.  She was also awakening many times in the middle of the night screaming for no reason at all.  Very unlike herself.

So for the past three therapy sessions, we've only been working on sleep, but just after her second session, she fell asleep in the car, then later that night fell asleep on her own and for the first time in months she was able to stay asleep for the entire night.  This has continued for a week and we even went on a camping trip this weekend! Hallelujah!  The only thing we have to do now is train my husband to stay away from her in the middle of the night.  He misses getting his princess and lulling her back to sleep with his deep soothing voice and gentle pats of comfort.


And because she is getting sleep, she is doing some other amazing things.  Just recently, she's been walking around like a bear (she WANTS To walk!):

Thanks for praying along with me about these neurofeedback sessions.  I'm excited to see what God has in store for my sweet little bear.

Just after the camping trip.

Neurofeedback

I am hopeful. Tomorrow I bring little Iva June to her first neurofeedback appointment.  I've researched and heard lots of good things about the journey that we are about to embark on, but I don't really know what the outcome will be.

To catch you up....June received a "brain map" a couple weeks ago, where they placed a snug little cap on her skull, stuck electrodes and goo all over head and measured her brain wave activity. Here she is.

 It was obviously a bit of a struggle to keep her from not ripping the wires off her head, but with Rich's amazing redirecting skills and a couple of strands of mardi gras beads, I am hoping they were able to obtain a reading.  The reading will show us the areas of her brain that are weak and strong, and also, the areas where they will need to place the electrodes for therapy.

Application of goo 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daddy's shoulder is always best.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, tomorrow we go to find out the results of the brain map, but more importantly to get June's first neurofeedback session. This is done by a Licensed Family Therapist.  This is not considered a medical procedure, although many neurologists work with therapists who do brain mapping. 

She'll sit in front of a screen that looks very much like a video game.  When her brain does the "right thing", the game will reward her by giving her pretty pictures to look at, color bursts, etc.  I am really stating this in the simplest of terms.  Go here for more:

www.eeginfo.com

In the the meantime, would you pray with me that we see results either quickly or not at all so we know whether or not to continue with this therapy? I am banking on change.  There have been too many things that have lined up so quickly that I know God wants us to explore this....including giving us a friend down the street who will be able to do therapy in her own home with Iva June.  I'll let you know what happens in the next few weeks!

Pink push buggy

Just yesterday we were at playgroup and the hosts surprised all the toddlers with a little post Easter egg hunt outside. I mean, amazingly they had at least 7 Easter baskets on hand and when we needed just one more, they went in the back and pulled another one out of (God knows where).  I found this hilarious because I pictured the egg hunt at my house and I'd be emptying out containers, flower pots and fruit bowls trying to give small children Easter basket hope.  Aside from this, the bunny hop was completed in about 7.5 seconds.  Then the kids sat around sneaking jelly beans and we oohed and aahed over the neighbor's cool yard.

Miss Iva June started wiggling around at this point and thrashing backwards (as she usually does).  She clearly wanted to get on the ground like the other kids....so I let her (against my true wishes).  I watched that little girl try to put her feet up in a V-position so that she could try to "walk". She became instantly frustrated and started crying...something she's been doing more of lately.  My heart saddened as I knew she wanted to join in all the bunny fun, but physically couldn't.  As she crawled around the yard, my sweet friend Mandy kept pointing out that she was eating leaves, pods and dirt again....dirt was everywhere....on my face, down my neck, and therefore down my shirt.  June had dirt all in and around her mouth.  See, this is what happens when I let her crawl around the earth.  It's a love-hate relationship, this dirt.

On the way home, we got sidetracked at another friend's house and I just happened to take June out of the stroller and let her ride in a little tikes car that was abandoned because it was "too easy" for all the other kids.  It was perfect for June. She smiled while she was riding and finally cried when it was time to go.  Her little hands gripped the steering wheel like she was a race car driver.  She sat up super-straight, as if to boast that she is a big girl now. 

As I dragged both kids home, my mind started reeling.  I HAD to get her that little tikes car.  So, after I put the kids to bed for a nap, I was on the internet, feverishly searching for a good deal on a push around buggy.  Found one on Amazon. It wasn't going to get here fast enough. I needed one for like, when she woke up from her nap.  Found one on Craig's List. Pink. Perfect.  Drove to the house after dinner and now I have one happy little girl who can actually do something when she's outside. 
So, this is what we did all day:

Walk or Ride?

So it's stroller time around here in good ol' Hampton Roads, and I'm supposed to be happy and excited to tote my kids around in their double jogger, or the  "umbrella" stroller or what my parents call the "cadillac" of strollers.  Usually I am thrilled to get some stroller time in, but lately it has been more of a guilt-fest than anything else for me.

You see, for most toddlers, stroller time is fun... a time to rest from running around, a time to look around, look up, listen to birds.  Well, lately, every time I put my almost two year old in the stroller, she looks up at me as if to say "Not this again...do you know how much sitting in restraint systems I do? Do you know how much listening I do (because I don't talk at all)? And do you know that you should really be holding my two little hands and practice walking with me? Mom, you can walk just fine."  I usually smile and she's always compliant. I put her in there anyway and my son walks or rides-whatever he chooses, but my June, she just rides and sometimes bends her body completely in half so she can giggle and eat her toes.

The zoo is about 1 mile from our house, so we go there quite often. Today was a gorgeous sunny day, so it was just calling for the zoo...and I headed there wishing I could be 100% excited, but I wasn't because I knew what this meant for little June. She'd be sitting all morning long.  So we went anyway. It really was wonderful. We rode the train. The tigers were even out.  It couldn't have been more perfect weather, or I couldn't have gone with a more perfect friend and her kiddos.  So we walked around oohing and aahing over the new exhibit and the new monkeys, the black bears....June squiggled around in her cadillac stroller, not interested in animals, completely giving up on getting out of her seat. I picked her up every once in a while to show her the animals that she was completely uninterested in. She was, however, fascinated with the cages. So, we touched lots of cages, wires and fences. 

At the very end, we were all staring, mesmerized by the tigers and she was smiling at the ceiling, her fingers dancing. I looked up and I swear they put those things up there for special needs kids. Two brilliant (fake) ginormous Japanese dragons were hanging on the awning above us. She smiled...took it all in like it was a supernatural phenomenon as they were blowing in the breeze.  After a snack, we headed home. 

Later this evening (on another walk) my husband asked me if I had done any "walking" with June today. "No", I said. "Tomorrow" is what I'm thinking.

Song for Iva June

Today a sweet gift was given to us from our friends James, Matt and Zach.  They've been working on a song for Iva June and this afternoon it arrived on our doorstep with a cute little case cover and a professional looking burned copy of the CD that they will enter in a contest to C.R.E.A.T.E. Songwriter Search in cooperation with CCM Magazine and Provident Music Group in Nashville. We would like to thank them for capturing Miss June's personality so very well....musically and lyrically. This was an unexpected gift for us and a little piece of heaven.

Have a listen:
A love so strong

She better twirl

My dear friend Meryl is 8 months pregnant and is waiting to give birth to her precious baby girl. Meryl is the type of friend who is always there when you're crying, who seems to call you to go on a walk just when you need it, who's always up for a last-minute adventure and who gives you a manicure while you watch a movie, while SHE'S pregnant.  She's a sweet Southern Belle and "giving" just happens to be her gift.  To top it all off, she's absolutely gorgeous with long hair like your Barbie doll.  It is only natural that I would want to give her some of my most favorite baby clothes. 

Today I went through all of my daughter's 0-3 month clothes...reminiscing, remembering, wishing....I quickly packed them all up in a bag in case I changed my mind because I'm so emotionally connected to them all. It was time...I was running out of room in the closet. You see the other great thing about Meryl is she is just 5 houses down from my house, so I quickly trotted down there, peeked in the window and saw her with her precious son (my son's bf) and her wonderfully supportive husband eating peacefully...these last few weeks before the BIG arrival.  I quickly dropped the bag of clothes on the doorstep, turned around, and it happened...my eyes started welling up with tears, I started crying a little harder and wondered what in the world I was crying about.  There was something about that moment I remembered too clearly...just 21 months ago.... My son, my husband, and my pregnant belly all looking forward to the bright road ahead, visualizing the first meeting with my little bundle of love who would gaze into my eyes, cry when I left her with strangers and curiously explore her world. I was so wrong. 

But, God was so right.  You see, I'm finding just how really selfish I am. I want to go to the Zoo and the Botanical Gardens every day, walking and chatting with friends while our kids bounce around our feet and we share stories of bumped knees and hurt feelings. I don't want to sit through therapy session after therapy session and go to doctor's offices so they can tell me to run down the hall and get a few blood draws and order large contraptions so she can see better, breathe better, live life better.  I don't want to squish her food up anymore.  I don't want to carry her anymore. I don't want to pretend I'm fascinated with straws, lights and razzberries anymore. You see? I'm selfish.  And this precious little June bug pulls me out of that world, and into hers, and once in a while I mourn all that could have been.  Every ballet class, every sleepover, every Hello Kitty sticker, every twirling flouncy skirt. 

So I made a deal with God.  I bought her a dress the other day. It was on sale at Hanna Andersson for $20. Christmas Red Love to Twirl Velour Dress.  I am praying she will be able to wear it this next December. She will. And she'll twirl. 

Whine

 

Today was one of those days that started at approximately 4:00 am with a loud wake-up call from my son barfing up his chicken soup from the evening before.  I had been waiting for it for days, but I honestly thought we were in the clear.  My daughter had gotten the virus about 4.5 days earlier and was in recovery mode...on the brat diet and only drinking almond milk because I fear what regular milk will do to her system.  

I can't help but giggle at this video.  It just about sums up my day besides all the blog reading I got to do, the reading of Genesis 1 to my vomiting son, and the many loads of throw up laundry I got to wash and reuse and reuse.  I finally put diapers on my son because I got tired of the you know what coming out.  

So I had quite a day planned for us.  James was going to wake up and go to school while June bug and I headed back to the house and had not one, but two therapy sessions with the vision specialist and physical therapist.  After that we'd go get James, rush home to have chicken soup left overs, take a nap and wake up and go to my lovely friend Bernadette's birthday party and eat gourmet cake and cupcakes made by my friend Lindsay of Apple Blossom Bakery (http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=572740213&sk=info#!/pages/Apple-Blossom-Bakery/190142917673857)Then we'd whiz home and drop the kids off with a babysitter and head out to our evening appointment at 7:00 pm.  Guess God wanted me to stay home today....

I'm learning to really enjoy the quietness of home.