33 hours

I'm sitting here, stunned, utterly and eternally grateful, wondering how this all happened and thankful that it did. 

Thirty-three hours ago, my sister posted a link on facebook to a website which rallied people to collect money for the goal of giving Iva June an opportunity this summer like none that I could find here in Hampton Roads.  She will attend a Summer Speech Camp at Quilt Autism and Speech Center and hopefully learn perhaps, a little more how to communicate what is captured in her mysterious brain. 

I am in tears to have seen what the good Lord has done, completely taken aback to know that people care so deeply and am honestly overwhelmed by donations from the most unexpected places. In a short 33 hours ALL of the money was collected and not even some of my closest friends have even seen the link or know what's going on yet.  Please know MJ, Uncle Jim, Aunt Lynn, Katie and George, Charles and Cherish, Emily and Fred, Andrew and Nicole, Erin, Jenn and Josh, Aaron and Valori, and Isabella that you have touched our lives in a way that I will never ever forget. 

And for the rest of you who didn't have a chance to share in the joy yet, thank you for loving us on a daily basis and praying for our sweet girl of mystery. 

eeeee!

I'm a failure as a Mom.  I want to quit, give these kids back, or start again so I can redo some things.  I tried to see the beautiful in today, be thankful about the little things, like, the literal sunshine peeking through the clouds and my son digging around in the sand finding rocks, shells and treasures; but alas, when I looked up the weather forecast on my ipad and there was an actual rain storm picture on each of the 7 days in the the 7 day forecast, I retreated back into my shell again to whither away and wonder again what I was going to do with myself...with ourselves if it rained for 40 days and nights.  God bless Noah. 

Our family has been sick for about 10 days now.  We've all had parts of the snotty flu bug and I am not kidding you when I say EVERY time I look at Charlotte, she has boogies running down her face.  That was June last week. At the end of the day, I have very visible dried snot all over my clothes, skin and jeans, and I scrub the girls clean, but by early the next morning, Charlotte's hair has been snot-glued to her nose in the middle of the night, and June awakens with snot trails on her face.  

Even though it's been a hard week, much of it just because of my own "stuff" in my head, I am thrilled that June is trying to say something to us.  
One of the few things she says is, "EEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"  She does it repetitively, compulsively, and depending on how loud it is, we can generally gauge whether she is upset, calm, or in some cases, ready to poop.  Trust me, it can get very annoying.  She has been saying it all day long lately.  Today was a very happy day for her.  She was almost humming her eeee's, like she was singing a song.  It was rather pleasant compared to all the eeeing she does when she is clearly upset, or in public.  I am waiting for that song.  I really think it's coming.  When I sang with her she smiled, and when I play the piano next to her, she is relaxed and engaged in the moment. 

Mostly, I wonder what are you thinking little one....and why does "eeeee" excite you so much? Goodnight little lady of wonder.

Bathing beauty. No towel needed.

June enjoying the sand at Ocean View a few weeks ago.

Teacher of the Year

I just found out my daughter's teacher received the "Teacher of the year" award at her school.  I am in tears.  Not because June's teacher is awesome.  She is.  Not because I am thrilled for what this means for her teacher.  I am.   Not because I am remembering my own journey as a teacher.  I remember it clearly.  I am moved because of what this means for June, and just how obvious I can see God's thumbprint on her life.  And to know she has gotten instruction from the best special needs pre-school teacher at Norfolk Public Schools this year is indeed, emotionally overwhelming! 

You see, in the Summer I begged for June to repeat the class that I thought must be best for her.  Same teacher.  Same agenda.  Half-way during the Summer I found out that NPS did not grant my request; However, there seemed to be a still, quiet voice whispering, "Everything is going to be okay".  I did not panic.  I waited.  I knew I would soon meet her.  And now it comes full circle.  I know why the plan was different, why June couldn't have the same teacher.  Ironically, June's former teacher was out for most of the year because of medical reasons.  God knew.  He foreknew.  He knows my future.  So happy He knows Iva June's.

Thank you Miss Citadel for giving my child the love that she so desperately doesn't even know she needs.  Thank you for spurring her on to independence in more ways than one.  Thank you for believing she can in fact, communicate.  Thank you for caring for her like your own little one.  We are really going to miss you next year!  But I KNOW God will only give June the BEST! 

Easter News

Our Easter weekend was a beautiful one, starting with and a special surprise for our precious June-bug.  A very generous family had given us a piano.  You should have seen her face on Saturday morning.  She would have said..."Wait!  Why is there a piano in our living room?"  She can now officially start becoming a piano sevant.

Saturday continued with blue-sky weather, a T-Ball game for James, egg dyeing and an awesome egg hunt at our home on Saturday. Everyone participated with eagerness...especially when they figured out there was exactly one all-natural jellybean in each egg.  I know, I make them work for 'em.  The day ended with the building of a tree house for James.  He drew up plans weeks ago....now we just need to paint it rainbow colors. Really, this story is best told in pictures.

Ben and James working on tree house

We ended our weekend with good news on Sunday morning.  We were happy to celebrate with Grandma and Grandpa!

"Death swallowed by triumphant LIFE!  Who got the last word, oh death?  Oh death, who is afraid of you now?  It was sin that made death so frightening and law-code guilt that gave sin its leverage, its destructive power. But now, in a single, victorious stroke of LIFE, all three-sin, guilt, death-are gone, the gift of our Master, Jesus Christ."  from I Corinthians 15 (the MSG)

Happy Easter eve!

Opposites

I'm going to brag a little bit.  Firstly, I can't believe God has graced me with the presence of some very opposite children in this house.  We have every personality imaginable here.  Some are loud at night, some are loud during the day.  Some don't talk at all, some talk non-stop.  Some bite.  Some give hugs.  Some seek attention.  Some would like to spend the day alone in their room, pining away after the blinds.  Some like to be outside in the cold with no jacket on. Some cry when they are out in the cold.  Hard to imagine they come from us.  Oh....but I guess everyone has one thing in common.  They all like to be naked and they all love the water.  I guess that part might be inherited. 

So, James got "tested" for Kindergarten a few days ago and he, of course, passed with flying colors and was at-range or above range for every subject measured.  It's nice to know that he will most likely be successful in school Hallelujah.  What blew me away though, was that his linguistic score was measured at age 6.5.  She said he got every single question right when asked for opposites and when also given a verb and had to say a noun to accompany a verb.  For instance, she said "blow", and he had to come up with "wind".  So just how does THAT happen when I have another one who does not speak at all?  Don't these types of things typically run in families?  Again, I tell you, Iva June is a sweet mystery. I wouldn't have in any other way because she speaks to me in ways I can't express. The ways of the angels.

June has a routine in the morning and it goes like this.  Get up (with whining).  Change diaper.  Get dressed.  Eat breakfast.  Shoes on.  Coat on.  Wait at door for bus.  So, for a few days now she has been doing something that I think is remarkable.  She's been getting the toy die-cast bus and examining it, making bus noises, while she waits for the bus.

She's speaking to me.  Can you see it?  Her teacher also just told me she's been signing the word "candy at school to get a treat.  I'm impressed.

June with therapist

She's also been using the ipad and and participating in circle time.  I can't wait to spy on her.  She looks so happy.

June with her teacher

I'm ending with another brag.  My son told me for the first time that he loved me on Valentine's Day.  What a special treat.  I've been waiting for this moment for 5 years.  Most people get "I love you" at 2.  Not me. I guess he was waiting for perfect timing.  He came in the back door after being outside for a while, holding two perfect Camelia blooms (no stems of course) in his hand.  He said, "Mom, these are for you for Valentine's Day because I love you".  I melted, of course.

Five minutes later, my husband came in the door with these.  I guess someone is watching his Daddy.

I am blessed.

House in the night

We get our kids ready for bed the second we're finished with dinner.  It's up to the tub, towel off, lounge around naked, get dressed, get medicines, brush teeth, brush hair and then read a book or two or three or four.  Sometimes on rare occasions, by mistake, we fall asleep.

It is no joke to put these three rascals to bed. Although, they seem to think it's a party most of the time.

And now, note what June is doing.  Staring at a book.  A book she's been obsessed with.  Caught rocking in the rocking chair with.  House in the Night.  She fixates on one single picture the entire time.  I can't really figure out what she loves about it.  The millions of little lines? The violin case?  The music stand?  Certainly not the cat (Kat)...

June had one of the best days of her life.  She played with toys like a normal child and enjoyed swinging and bouncing at the park.  She ate without stuffing her mouth, was focused and delightful at therapy, and was just all-around happy. BUT the best thing by far was the unexpected thing that happened at snack time.  I am 99% sure she said "more" to me.  She looked at me in the eye when we were done with snack and said "Moaaaaw Mama" in a very low and deliberate voice.  I about fell over, but then I promptly got her more pretzels.  Just so I knew it wasn't my imagination, the therapist said she did the same thing today in therapy.  She was done playing with a really really cool toy that the therapist was holding and June looked at her and said "moaaaaw" as well.  Okay, we'll take it. And Hallelujah!

And now this house in the night is all quiet and vacuumed.  Good night little house. Good night sweet children. Good night husband who helps me put the babies to bed.  Good night friends. Good night Lord...and thank you. 

Stuck in a fleece

Have you ever been stuck in a fleece?  I mean, you wear the same
old fleece day after day after day because your butt continues to be cold?  I didn't realize I was actually doing this until my husband said to me the other day..."Hey honey, next time you get a fleece, could it be a nice color like pink or something?  I mean, you've had that dull gray thing on for years.  It's sort of a seal color...."  I tuned out after I heard the word "seal".  Really? Aren't seals big, fat and ugly too?  Oh I am telling you it is REALLY hard not to join a health club in January, but I need to hold out because every single January I do this.  I join a health club and go faithfully til it gets beautiful outside, then I don't ever want to go in that steamy place again.  So, maybe I'll try yoga once a week or something.  Something you only have to commit to in 8 week increments. 

So, besides the wearing of the daily fleece, all of my kids have been eating me out of house and home lately. And, I mean they're eating real food.  Not doritos and swedish fish.  I don't know what to make of it when my five year old has a peanut butter and honey sandwich with pickles, carrots, hummus, raisins and blueberries for lunch, then has an apple for dessert and then, not 10 minutes later is telling me he's hungry.  Or...when, my three year old gets off the bus at noon, just having a complete lunch, and makes her way to the table to get something more or steal the cheerios out of Charlotte's hand or off the floor.  My 9 month old went from (very free) breast milk to a full blown menu just over Christmas.  I even found her tinkering around in the pantry the other day.  My grocery bill is starting to sky-rocket and my husband is noticing. 

My babysitter must have thought I was absolutely crazy when she was about to throw a carrot away that had fallen on the floor and I stopped her in mid-throw to catch the carrot in the air to tell her that we do, in fact, eat off the floor.  And then 10 minutes later, I was on my hands and knees picking up all the Cheerios off the floor one by one to put them back on the table for the girls to eat...because have you seen how expensive Cheerios have gotten?  I'm buying the fake brand from now on.  Besides, is anyone else wondering about this gmo thing??  My sister has me worried about it.

Well other than gmo's, today was a good day. God painted the sky bright blue just for our family, so we got outside, got our cheeks a little sun-burned, and headed to the park.  I also got to take off my seal gray fleece and now I'm about to watch Downton Abbey. 

Yikes! I just found a picture of me in the gray fleece from 2 years ago!