It was an hour past bedtime and I was tired. Another nighttime routine that would prolong into stories about stories and prayers about dogs who needed to know God's love, and then the pondering of all the mysteries of Heaven and on Earth...and I would try to stay present. I think I did this particular night.
Other nights I wish myself toward my room where I can stay selfishly tucked up in my novel or scroll and troll the internet for the perfect queen-sized bed frame on Marketplace or track down a vintage "Barbie minivan" on ebay, because even though it doesn't exist, my artsy daughter wants one for Christmas. Oh, and it can't be pink.
The 13-year old sleeps beside me conked out in her drug-induced slumber where she breathes noisily and I wonder if she knows that we love her and that she will forgive us for putting her to sleep every night like this....hoping her body will forgive us, her liver, her heart....
Tonight is the Eve of my Daddy's 72nd birthday. And I miss him something fierce. My Daddy has exactly 36 days to hold it together, because when the clock strikes 2023 they will go in with their catheters and balloons and magically slip a life-saving piece of hollow plastic inside his left anterior descending artery so his precious heart can go on beating for all of us who need him here on this Earth.
I'm in North Carolina and things are slow here, but my baby daughter is the slowest documented person in NC it seems, so we have to spend lots of extra time giving her extra time. Tonight was no exception and we hurried her off to bed as she was busily ctafting at the table in her artistic fury. We didn't even take the time to stop and see what she had made.
But morning came and revealed a masterpiece.
Hope. Peace. Love. Joy. She wrote it down. She was paying attention. It actually meant something when we lit that Advent candle at the table and then rushed through dinner. And even though she got up and left it all on the table, that night in bed she prayed with all the hope in the world for a family who is in need of deep peace from a Savior full of unconditional love during a season that gives the greatest joy.
My broken, banged-up heart needed to hear every utterance from her honest little bleeding heart.
It's what she does every time. This was why she was born. To mend and pray for our family.
This Christmas, may your greatest gift be within the walls of your home and
written into the deepest chambers of your beating heart.
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