Goodnight Little Thief

It's been so hot here in Norfolk that we're doing things like filling up our kiddie pool and diving in mostly naked.  My washing machine is certainly getting a work-out, as we all have about three changes of clothes per day, plus all the towels that have snots, poop, dead bugs and dirt on them need more than a "hang-up" every once in a while.  We used 12 CCFs of water last month.  That's a pretty hefty water bill and I'm feeling semi-guilty about it.  Alas, my children are fascinated with water.  Well, June is absolutely obsessed with water.

But there are other issues going on in our house that need to be mentioned, that have been keeping us up at night.  Screaming, thrashing, staring into the dark...  I know you think this little munchkin must be the culprit stealing our sleep:

Charlotte just shy of 3 months

I assure you she is not.  Let me fill you in.  Back in January we decided that it was time to put James and June in a room together.  The baby would soon be here and she would soon need June's room, which is the "baby room/ office" off Mommy and Daddy's bedroom.  So, I designed a quiet little cove in the corner of James' room with curtains that come down for privacy.  I framed and hung up a mirror and beautiful art work.  I thought she would love it. 

 She, of course did not.  People kept saying, "They'll adjust to each other's sleeping habits, they'll feel more secure with one another."  Balogna.  We gave it a good go. Five whole months of June squawking, sometimes going to sleep at around 10, sometimes not....only to find James tossing and turning, moaning for her to be quiet, while she laughed and talked to the the angels again, at 11, 1, 3 in the morning.  We were all exhausted, including June.  My husband is one of those husbands who gets up in the night with the kids.  I know.  I'm spoiled.

So....we finally figured out that June really wanted her old room back.  She just couldn't tell us.  We knew we were going to have to do some major rearranging and streamlining, because, after all, she needed a "safe place" without cords, or things she could get into, eat or dismantle.  Rich and I created this little place for her this last weekend.  It has all her favorite things.  Notice there are no pretty pictures on the walls for her to pull down.  It has just the essentials:

The gate keeps her from entering the office area

So June has stolen her room back and I am happy to report that she LOVES it.  She spends hours up there playing her keyboard, receiving vest therapy, rocking on her rocking chair (upside-down of course) or just destroying the basket of toys. 

This is not all June has stolen from her sister.  Clearly, she is trying to re-live her baby days:

So all this work, and my little thief is now sleeping peacefully up in her room (we get a little help from 5 mg of melatonin as well).  I guess all that advice about autistic children needing a quiet, cozy room is really true for my baby anyway.  It's been a week now.  So far, so good. Thank you God!

Wish

Today I lost my diamond ring and wedding band.  I was making an apple pie, took it off and put it in a "safe place".  Have you ever done that?  Put something in a "safe place" then can't find it?  I searched high and low (literally) for a good 15 minutes...in the trash can, under the microwave (gross!), in the flour jar, in the pantry.  I mean, it was JUST here.  Where is it?  Windowsill? Dishwasher?  Floor?

My kids are at the park....it wasn't them.

I decided to start washing dishes.  I prayed that God would keep it safe until I found it.  And THAT he did.  Well folks, almost instantly, right then, as I reached my left hand into the sink,  I saw something shiny, sparkling in the light of the dish suds.  I know you're on the edge of your seat wondering if it's going to slip down the drain....I'm embarrassed to say this next part, really.

I pulled my left hand out of the water, and there it was...brilliantly shining at me-all one and a half carats of it...like it always is.

Right where it should be.  The whole time I had actually been feeling the vacant spot on the ring finger of my right hand.

I tell you this story so you can understand just how scrambled my brain is these days.  I rarely have this problem.  I am the one who remembers everyone's names, who nudges my husband to remind him to wish someone a "Happy Birthday", who remembers to send thank you notes.  Well, not anymore.  Please tell me you've had this same problem at some point in your life...maybe when you're on overload, maybe after you've had a baby, or when you're planning a birthday party on a whim....

Today my baby girl turned three years old.  Iva June.  We celebrated with her Daddy on Sunday, but I saved a few cupcakes for her real birthday and invited exactly one friend over because June doesn't really enjoy parties.  She gets overstimulated, usually spending most of the time upside-down on her head, looking at the ceiling and stimming wildly, wishing she was up there with the angels again.

What a day!  She wore her pink frilly shorts and polka dot legwarmers to school.  She was on her absolutely best best best behavior.  Hardly any screaming or crying at all.  Miss Kat bought her the "meowsic" which was (of course) a BIG hit:

Did I tell you Miss Kat is deathly (almost comically) afraid of cats?

"Meow, meow, meow"

Another big hit from
Grandma Mary Jane was this Discovery Aquarium.
Both kids were completely mesmerized:
 

 

And I cannot forget the actual eating of the birthday dessert.  June wanted nothing to do with those mini carrot cupcakes I slaved over.  She did, however, play with the frosting and was delighted by the candles:

 This is going to be a good year for June!  I can feel it in my bones!  James and I are praying that she says one word this year.  Will you join us?

Jammy time

I'm typing with one hand.  If I'm ever going to post again, I better get used to it, because the only moments I have to myself are while my daughter is nursing.  Charlotte Rose-Marie came to grace our lives with her presence about six weeks ago and she is every bit as perfect as I had imagined.  The second week of her life she rotated 180 degrees on our bed, and I knew I had a fighter.  She was over 11 pounds at her one month check-up.  I'm praising God for all these little things that I took for granted with my first child.

My husband took the kids to his parents' home this weekend, and I stayed home so I could "get some rest", "get some things done".  Well, you know how that goes with a newborn....At least the toys are staying exactly where I put them, and I am sleeping every time Char does.

I went out to dinner last night with a friend.  Charlotte screamed the entire time.  Fortunately, it was a loud restaurant anyway.  On the way home, I stopped to get gas and somehow managed to pour gasoline all down the entire right side of my body.  Baby was screaming in the car and I sort of just stood there and waited for some of the residue to evaporate off of me, all the time wondering how I was going to drive home without poisoning my baby with toxic fumes.  I dabbed at my body with exactly two wet wipes, closed the door, rolled down the windows, and drove as fast as I could. Got home at 9:15 pm only to find I had locked myself out of the house.  I left Charlotte screaming on the porch while I called my husband who instructed me to "go get the ladder and crawl through a window".  I obeyed dutifully, but it was truly an out of body experience for me. I was watching myself scale the heights of my house while I luckily pried open the screen, then window.  Then, sort of jumping (in flip-flops), managed to teeter on the edge of the sill and plop-landed in a heap on the floor.  It never felt so good to sleep in my own bed.

My husband texted me a half-hour later to remind me to put the ladder back near the shed.  I just laughed because what woman in her right mind would leave a ladder propped up against the house to invite all weirdos in?  Thanks, honey.  I know you're looking out for me.

On the more "normal" nights, this is what we're up to after bath time:

princess mom, claps, and new glasses

Well it's the home stretch and the doctor told me today that she's concerned about swelling and possible clotting in my left leg.  Perfect. So I need to sit around more, propping my leg up, playing princess and eating bon-bons.  I feel very guilty while doing this.  Luckily, I have Miss Kat to help me, a huge blessing in my life and June's.  She's going above and beyond the call of duty in the afternoons.  I can't believe it's all about to change in a couple weeks.  Am I ready for this third baby? Not quite sure. 

Some very exciting things have been happening in June's life.  Her teacher wrote me to tell me that she imitated clapping at school two times in one day! This is such a BIG deal. It's the first sign that she may be able to coordinate her hands in a way to communicate with us.  She has also been clapping more at home, and throwing temper tantrums when she wants something.  I never thought I'd thank God for temper tantrums, but it has also been a sign that she wants something else.  She has an opinion.  Now, to encourage her to show us in the right way...by pointing or signing, both of which seem years out of reach....

We have also been adding eye drops every night to June's left eye in order to make her see things blurry.  You don't know how hard this is for us to do.  Purposely blinding your child, so her right eye will get stronger.  The idea is that she will want to wear her glasses more because she can't see well.  We just got her new glasses two days ago and it's working!  She is actually tolerating them and seems to be more interested in looking at things through the lenses:

She still enjoys mirrors and she is quite a character when she sees herself in one.  She sticks her tongue out, moving it all around, completely curious about this little girl on the other side who does exactly what she does.

I can honestly say that I am falling more and more in love with this little girl every day. Wondering how I will love another one this much, but people say it's possible...

June's first day in new glasses

Really enjoying this transportation book lately

These guys love their couch time together

James knows just how to get her to laugh....

Big Girl At School

Obviously we've been busy.  And I can only find time to write about this at 4:30 in the morning. Lucky for you, I can't sleep and you get to hear about my baby girl starting school.

So, this last Tuesday, the big yellow school bus pulled up to my house and I wasn't even ready for it. June was still eating breakfast. Her shirt wasn't even on yet, lunch wasn't in her backpack.  We quickly got it together, headed out the door, and I didn't even get to see her face as she sped away.  It all happened so very quickly.  But she came back, alive, in one piece, a little sweaty, and started circling the house like a bat out of hell.  She's taken a nap every day since then.  Day #3 I was able to capture this picture:

On Friday, I went to go visit her classroom for the morning.  Her teacher was absolutely wonderful, and comes from a background of working with profoundly disabled children in a hospital setting, so she has all sorts of tricks up her sleeve for June.  Surprisingly, June was the most developmentally delayed in the whole group, and quite obviously will be the most demanding and hard to manage.  There are two girls in the class and 7 boys (typical for special needs classroom).  Everyone else is verbal or somewhat verbal.  Everyone walks except for one boy who is in a wheelchair, but is extremely ambulatory and able to maneuver around in that thing like he's been doing it since he was out of the womb.

I have high hopes for June.  I've already talked to her teacher three times over the phone and she called me just today because they are doing "pudding painting" tomorrow and she wasn't sure if June could have pudding because it has milk in it (June recently went on a dairy free diet).  I quickly whipped her up some dairy-free pudding tonight to bring in for the special event.  June has also brought home a painting (done hand-over hand) and is very tuned in to the CD that was given to me as part of their curriculum.  She is loving music these days.  The letter of the month is "J" (in honor of June), the color is "purple", the theme is "bears".  June has a special chair she uses, but her teacher also told me she has been using her walker and it seems to be working out well, which we have also noticed at home (outside). 

Overall, I am really pleased with Norfolk Public Schools Special Needs Program and I am really glad I held out for the morning spot because it gives me time in the morning to prepare for this next baby, get paperwork in order, do taxes, shop for dishwashers, and smile at the clear, blue sky.  Besides, June still takes a nap in the afternoon.

June's Personal Assistant also started with us last week (Miss Kat). She is a personal friend of mine and is really fitting into our family nicely.  June loves Miss Kat and I am amazed that the state pays for me to have her around.  What a special treat. 

All in all, I feel at peace...at least for 6 (or so) more weeks.  Thanks for your prayers.  I can feel the love surrounding me like a warm Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Sundae. 

Check Engine Light

We took a drive last night and as my husband got in the car, he commented on how the friendly check engine light was on...and wouldn't it be cool if people had check engine lights.  Indeed.  I mean, imagine that.  You'd never have to set a boundary again.  Your light would just tell you that you were doing too much, or an emotion or feeling was wrong, or that you in fact, had the flu.  You'd never have to make an excuse again.  You could just say, "Sorry, I can't watch your kids, my check engine light is on." Or, "My light says I need to rest, so no, I can't make the party." 

In the past few years I've really tried to listen to the sounds of my body, and essentially, set boundaries...but my hospitality blood always creeps back in to the marrow of my bones and then slowly, I start doing too much, hosting too much, and saying yes to things because I feel guilty. 

And then there are those days where you say no to everything but God appears to be saying yes to everything.  Like your transmission in your family car keeps slipping and you know it's any day now you'll have to get a new one, like your sporty car has to be jump-started, like you walk into your house only to find the dishwasher has been running and flooding the kitchen and basement with hot water for ten days, like your renter still hasn't moved out over Christmas break even though he's been evicted, like your 4 year old won't eat anything (eagerly) except cereal these days, and you get a phone call from your doctor telling you your thyroid is low, which is probably the reason you've been crying off and on for the last two days.  And the list goes on. 

But thank God I have good friends who do things like send me encouraging texts, emails and phone calls daily, who supply me with meals because they know I won't be able to cook for weeks, who volunteer to physically pick up my 30 pound child for an hour or change her wiggly bottom so I can take a break, put my feet up, because, by golly I'm pregnant. 

Today was such a dichotomy for me...the good and the bad all rolled up into one.  I watched my kitchen get demolished while I sat crying with boxes around my feet that I couldn't physically move,....but, I also got to see old friends at lunch, eat dinner with good friends unexpectedly, and then (Hallelujah!) the absolute best part....I got to see June take her first steps in her brand new walker. 
This, is a good day.  Tomorrow we can deal with the toxic kitchen. 

Have bit off more than I can chew

My angel friend Kat asked me today if June was getting into things these days and I showed her a picture that pretty much sums it up:

I know you have one of these tupperware drawers.

This is good and bad as one with a child would understand.  On one hand you are rejoicing because your child is becoming more mobile and more independent, and on the other hand you are complaining that you have to follow your child around and lock doors and drawers you've never locked before, move plants, antiques and picture frames high, out of reach, buy childproofing devices you swore you'd never purchase because there would be no need for them, because, after all, you are a fair and firm disciplinarian. 

Needless to say I am not raising a typical child.  One jaunt to the beach and you'd understand that this little girl thoroughly enjoys chewing on sand and other leafy objects.  She is stimulated in a way only my therapists understand.  She doesn't make that icky face that a normal child makes after she's had a few mouthfuls, she makes that obsessed crazy face that says, "Give me more and I'll take any punishment".  Same with leaves, dirt, anything gross or gritty, really.  But her favorite is books.  She can destroy a book by eating it in about 5 seconds.  We only have one perfect board book left.

Iva June starts school on January 3.  I can't believe it, but I am actually putting my little baby who doesn't even walk yet on a bus, sending her off to school and hoping that she'll come back a little more knowledgeable, a little more social and a lot less obsessive.  I can't lie.  I'm entrusting her to the Norfolk Public Special Needs System, because I know they'll do a better job than me AND so I can have a breather for three hours a day.  Things are getting more and more difficult.  She is getting heavier and bath times alone are like catching a squirming, drowning 30 pound slimy fish who sometimes bites.  Meal times, if done correctly and therapeutically take an hour each.  She's supposed to wear glasses at least an hour a day, but since she eats those, I have to follow her around for an hour.  She needs to wear a hat (that she also eats) because she is boring a hole into the back of her head because of all the upside-down spinning she does.  She still poops four times a day and, throws up, on occasion.  There are at least 105 other therapies or "good ideas" that I'm supposed to be doing daily, but unless I hire a maid and a cook, that won't happen...and since we are also in our first, full-blown financial crisis as a family, I am officially wondering just what God is thinking.

So He told me and I'm banking on it:
"My God will supply all my needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19